Gruesome Reviews

“Scarred” (2015): Jonah Kandie Pays Homage to 80’s Slasher Films

Titties, bimbos and homicidal maniacs, the staples of the 80’s slasher. Hell, they are the staples of most horror movies in general. In Scarred,  however, it is obvious the film makers  are trying to be a throwback homage film to the 80’s slasher – namely. Friday the 13th. They even bring in Ari Lehman, the guy who played boy Jason in the first F13th film, in a country bumpkin bit part. I’m all for some old school throwback films…when they are done right. Well, Scarred is done…did I mention there are  titties?

Scarred, written and directed by Eddie Lengyel, is about a deranged  guy named Jonah Kandie up in the forests of I don’t know where, who was horribly scarred many years ago and believed to be dead. Turns out he is actually alive and murdering beautiful people that turn up in his neck of the woods or campground. Apparently, his old stomping ground was a campground for some reason. There is also a dwarf girl that still knows he is alive but no one believes her and…blah blah blah…zzz.zzz.zzz.

scarred-cast

“Blah Blah Blah” is really what sums up this film. It starts out by getting a bunch of girls from a modeling agency, which centers around Marley (Haley Kocinski) and her friend Jess (Jessica Lauschin), to head up to a secluded campground for a photo shoot with a photographer named Brody (Max Ryan Mayson) and another guy named Bo (Carl Ferrara) that makes horror movies. What we are treated to is a lot of cardboard acting that really made me wonder if the girls in particular were from porn films. Their acting really comes  off like people in porn films. I swear I think they are porn actresses even if my web search turned up nothing.

Anyway, in between the scenes of the porno wannabes we are shown scenes of a local family who apparently is related to or knows of the killer who is supposedly dead while their daughter Tiny (Molly Miller) claims the killer is still alive and she has seen and talked to him. This results in her getting beat by her abusive father for “not respecting the dead”. This eventually results in him getting killed by the maniac.

scarred-scene4

So let’s talk about this killer for a second. Any good slasher worth its weight in gold knows that the killer has to be the biggest draw to the film and has to have some kind of charismatic appeal. This is usually achieved first and foremost through the visual appearance of the killer and next the body language they portray as many do not speak in these films. So how does Don Kilrain who plays Jonah Kandie stack up? Well…visually…he is just some dude in a sleeveless shirt and jeans with some kind of forgettable mask. So, in that aspect, it’s a bust. So, how does he come across on screen? Is he menacing and exudes some kind of malice through his body language? Again, this is a no. I feel, as a viewer, there is nothing at all special about this killer to really grab my attention. At all. Yeah, he is  there, he is killing people, but they could have got almost anyone else in there to kill people and it would have left about the same impact.

The script also has some issues with plot holes. One of the big ones was when it became obvious that people were getting murdered and Bo was allowed to escape the clutches of the killer. Everyone decides to stick around and they do not bother to even call the police. This is played off as if they don’t believe Bo at first, yet people are missing. But again the acting is so bad that when they see Bo running up to them…their sense of urgency, disbelief or anything else comes off as robotic. Another huge “DUH’ moment to me was, there was a scene where someone could have literally ran over the killer and the movie would have been over. I am not sure why the guy didn’t put the pedal to the metal crush the guy under his wheel.

scarred-barn

So, thus far I have been pretty harsh on the film. Is there any merit to it at all? Well…some, yes. The practical gore effects are  pretty good, actually. Say what you want about the movie as a whole there are  a few scenes that work, like the eye gouge scene and he fish hook in face scene. These are  pretty solid. Also, the Bo character has some  pretty funny moments and lines in the film. But these were few and far between. Also…some boobies.

So, my final verdict on Scarred? I have to say give it a pass. On one hand, it is low budget and certain allowances can  be given for that and I understand that. But, ultimately, the movie fails to execute certain key elements to make it an enjoyable watch, other than getting some quick shots of some titties…and even those are few and far between.

Scarred 1 out of 5 stars (1 / 5)

scarred-poster

TJ Fowler
Photographer/Interviewer/Film Reviewer
Tj lives in the cold wastes of Scandinavia where the nights run long and dark and the metal loud and brutal. Photographing the bands of Europe over the last several years, he has branched out into music journalism more doing reviews and interviews with heavy metal artists emerging from the European scene. Ever since seeing Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter at a local drive-in as a child, TJ has forever been paranoid of taking showers alone and watching hockey games but has become a huge fan of the Friday the 13th franchise.
TJ Fowler
Tj lives in the cold wastes of Scandinavia where the nights run long and dark and the metal loud and brutal. Photographing the bands of Europe over the last several years, he has branched out into music journalism more doing reviews and interviews with heavy metal artists emerging from the European scene. Ever since seeing Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter at a local drive-in as a child, TJ has forever been paranoid of taking showers alone and watching hockey games but has become a huge fan of the Friday the 13th franchise.
http://www.skullbanger.net